I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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