Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
