judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
