literally had 100 drinks last night.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
