What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
