they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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