I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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