I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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