i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
