So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
