I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
