Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
