We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize