Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize