And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
