You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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