Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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