Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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