we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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