we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
