I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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