Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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