everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
