Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
