Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
