I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
