Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
