Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
