A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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