I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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