I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize