I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
