I want to stick my p in your. b.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
