____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize