Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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