hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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