How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
