I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
