Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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