HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize