I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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