playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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