That's intense
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
