they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
