She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
