how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have fence marks all over my body
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
