Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I party with great urgency now.
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