the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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