My room smells like vodka and shame
I cockslap morals
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
