whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Randomize