Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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