you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
