Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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