I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
