dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think I just shit out all my problems.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
