Non-Jews are for practice
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
