I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
