Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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