I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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