NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize