I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
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I need you to use more vowels.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize