Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We don't watch enough power rangers
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
