The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
