you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
