I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
