She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
