We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
These tits shall not be calmed
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
