why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize