Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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