We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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