I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
